Do you ever have a word that is speaking to you? Everywhere you go, everything you do it is that same word. That has been me lately. I believe this is one of God's way of communicating with us since we don't always listen any other way.
That word for me lately has been SEASON. The word has been everywhere lately and culminating on Sunday when both the sermon dealt with that and then on the way home from church they were discussing things on the radio. The word used over and over on the radio was SEASON. There it was again.
I've been pondering this a lot lately. Although this may not be the official definition of season, I have come up with the definition that God has been putting on my heart. And that definition is CHANGE. The sermon Sunday, if you step away from the word season, was talking about how we are different at different points in our life. We change. We go through seasons. The speaker on the radio was talking about how we have different seasons in our lives, referring to, again, change. Even in my cooking we have been playing with seasoning our food with different spices to explore the change that comes with that and the wonderful new flavors that can be experienced.
Right now my new SEASON is that my daughter is going to college. This is a huge change in my life. My daughter has lived with us for 18 years. We have watched her grow to a beautiful young lady. Still, as any parent would tell you, I can look at her and see that little toddler that needed my help for most things she did. I am very proud of her and how she is pursing her dreams.
Looking back just on the last 3 years there have been many SEASONS in my life. Beginning with the diagnosis of cancer. To having surgery and radiation. Learning to walk with a walker, to finding out that I would be having my hip rebuilt and learning to walk again, this time without a walker. The seasons have been ever changing.
How does this relate to my Goals and Dreams you ask? Well, I am looking forward to the new SEASON and not looking back on the seasons that have passed. Embracing the change and not ignoring it or burying my head in the sand. We all have Seasons of CHANGE and if we don't embrace it, we may just miss out on all of the blessings that are wrapped up within that Season. And remember, just like the seasons on the calendar, another SEASON in our life will be just around the corner. Looking forward and not backward will keep you excited about what is just around the corner.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
1 Week into One of my Goals
Happy Friday :)
I said I would keep you posted on my adventures in juicing and essential oils. I have been using the essential oils for 5 days now. That may not be long enough to tell a difference yet, but I am on my way to feeling better.
One of the side effects of the oral chemotherapy I take (I told you the cancer played a roll in my life daily) is burning and redness in my hands and feet. The doctor explains it that it is like a chemical burn from the inside out. Not much helps it. I've tried lotions and creams and ice packs. Although the lotions help temporarily, pain relievers have been the only thing that at least take the pain to a tolerable level to do my daily activities.
I'm not trying to sell anyone on these essential oils (at least not yet), but I have been using an oil on my hands and feet. It has really helped to take the redness and even some of the pain down a notch. I haven't done anything different other than use a drop on each hand once a day. I'm curious to see what happens during the chemo cycle (I take the pills for 2 weeks and then have a week off). It will be interesting to see if it can keep the pain and redness down before the next cycle begins. So far, I am greatly pleased with the results of this oil.
In addition, I have added another oil to my daily routine to help with weight loss. I'm trying very hard not to step on the scale everyday. In fact, I have told myself not to step on the scale but once a week to see how things are going. So no update on the weight loss for a while :) Remember, the language post. It is not a try to stay off of the scale. It is DO NOT get on the scale.
As for the juicing, my husband is the master mixer of the juices. We have been trying different blends and getting used to the idea of drinking one of our meals a day. We made several different blends this weekend and used them this week to supplement our meals. So far it is going well. I am amazed at how filling a glass of juice can be when you are actually getting all of the nutrients that your body is craving.
Keeping it Positive....
I said I would keep you posted on my adventures in juicing and essential oils. I have been using the essential oils for 5 days now. That may not be long enough to tell a difference yet, but I am on my way to feeling better.
One of the side effects of the oral chemotherapy I take (I told you the cancer played a roll in my life daily) is burning and redness in my hands and feet. The doctor explains it that it is like a chemical burn from the inside out. Not much helps it. I've tried lotions and creams and ice packs. Although the lotions help temporarily, pain relievers have been the only thing that at least take the pain to a tolerable level to do my daily activities.
I'm not trying to sell anyone on these essential oils (at least not yet), but I have been using an oil on my hands and feet. It has really helped to take the redness and even some of the pain down a notch. I haven't done anything different other than use a drop on each hand once a day. I'm curious to see what happens during the chemo cycle (I take the pills for 2 weeks and then have a week off). It will be interesting to see if it can keep the pain and redness down before the next cycle begins. So far, I am greatly pleased with the results of this oil.
In addition, I have added another oil to my daily routine to help with weight loss. I'm trying very hard not to step on the scale everyday. In fact, I have told myself not to step on the scale but once a week to see how things are going. So no update on the weight loss for a while :) Remember, the language post. It is not a try to stay off of the scale. It is DO NOT get on the scale.
As for the juicing, my husband is the master mixer of the juices. We have been trying different blends and getting used to the idea of drinking one of our meals a day. We made several different blends this weekend and used them this week to supplement our meals. So far it is going well. I am amazed at how filling a glass of juice can be when you are actually getting all of the nutrients that your body is craving.
Keeping it Positive....
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Change in Language
The other day I was talking with my daughter. Yes, one of my unstated (here) goals is to lose weight. As we were talking, I realized that I am not using the proper language in my everyday conversations. I'm not using inappropriate language mind you, just not using positive reinforcing language.
For example, we were looking at the clothes in my closet. I could probably have been a project on TLC's "What Not to Wear". I dress for comfort. I like jeans and t-shirts or shorts and t-shirts. Lately, I have been trying to upgrade my wardrobe. For my birthday I got dress shorts instead of gym shorts. Of course, I had my daughter looking in my closet to find a shirt to go with one of these new pair of shorts because I didn't think I had anything that would go with the fashion color that I got. As we were talking, I said "If I get to my goal weight". As I said that out loud it occurred to me that if I truly want to make this a goal, I need to change my language.
IF makes it a dream. What would make it a goal? WHEN. So I corrected myself and said "WHEN I get to my goal weight" I would go shopping for cute clothes, not just t-shirts. We even talked about who I would go shopping with.
So now I am reevaluating my use of language. Am I using the correct language to visualize the change that I am looking for, or am I using the dream language. I'm certain there are other areas that I am not using the positive language that will help create the change. It is an attitude thing that says "HECK YES, I'M GOING TO DO THIS".
So today, and this week, I will actively listen to the words I'm using and ask myself if those are words of change or are they words of dreams. What is your choice of words saying to you?
For example, we were looking at the clothes in my closet. I could probably have been a project on TLC's "What Not to Wear". I dress for comfort. I like jeans and t-shirts or shorts and t-shirts. Lately, I have been trying to upgrade my wardrobe. For my birthday I got dress shorts instead of gym shorts. Of course, I had my daughter looking in my closet to find a shirt to go with one of these new pair of shorts because I didn't think I had anything that would go with the fashion color that I got. As we were talking, I said "If I get to my goal weight". As I said that out loud it occurred to me that if I truly want to make this a goal, I need to change my language.
IF makes it a dream. What would make it a goal? WHEN. So I corrected myself and said "WHEN I get to my goal weight" I would go shopping for cute clothes, not just t-shirts. We even talked about who I would go shopping with.
So now I am reevaluating my use of language. Am I using the correct language to visualize the change that I am looking for, or am I using the dream language. I'm certain there are other areas that I am not using the positive language that will help create the change. It is an attitude thing that says "HECK YES, I'M GOING TO DO THIS".
So today, and this week, I will actively listen to the words I'm using and ask myself if those are words of change or are they words of dreams. What is your choice of words saying to you?
Thursday, July 11, 2013
I diverge today
I know I said this wouldn't be about cancer. It is about goals and dreams. However, this morning in my inbox was an email that I subscribe to for a closed group. It is a group dedicated to Stage IV Breast Cancer patients. I don't participate much in the group, but I do read the emails. Generally, they meet at a time and location that is not convenient for me. But I do appreciate the encouragement and the ability to ask questions of people who are on the same cruise ship as me.
In today's summary of emails was a post about a group member who passed away this week after her battle with cancer. Usually I don't know the person and this was the case today. However, there was a link to her blog and since I am new to this blogging, I clicked on it to read.
As I opened it up it started with a blurb about herself and her cancer. She was diagnosed in October 2010 (like me) with Stage IV, she was in shock, like most of us are when we here that news, but she planned to Kick Cancer's A**. The quick blurb felt like she was attacking cancer with the same attitude that I would like to think that I am. I try to live each day kicking cancer in the a**. It sucks, but it is the hand I was dealt, and I am going to bluff my way through this and try to win the game.
I scrolled through some of her posts and although our situations are/were different (she had mets to organs, not just bones) I felt like I would have really enjoyed getting to know her. Based on her blog, she seemed to be upbeat right to the end. In fact she had created a post as late as June 14th in which she seemed to be positive about how she was doing and what she was doing. Her last post was about a fund raiser for the Breast Cancer Research Center (BCRC) which is a non profit that helps those diagnosed with Breast Cancer. They have patient navigators to help anyone that contacts them to understand the process and even go to doctor appointments with you. I personally have not used their resources because I have a great personal support system through family, friends and church, but I have heard really great things about this organization. (If you are looking for a charity to donate to, I would appreciate you looking into this organization).
This blog and the attitude of this lady that I did not know really struck me today. It made me realize that my goal that I set earlier this week is even more important to me. None of us know how long we have the gift of life. So appreciate each day, appreciate the people in your life and don't sweat the small stuff. Please realize that each of us comes with a set of baggage at every encounter and we may not know what that may be. But please, be encouraging, instead of discouraging; pleasant instead of rude; and leave every encounter with others with the feeling that you won't regret the interaction if it happens to be the last you may have with them.
Thanks for reading
In today's summary of emails was a post about a group member who passed away this week after her battle with cancer. Usually I don't know the person and this was the case today. However, there was a link to her blog and since I am new to this blogging, I clicked on it to read.
As I opened it up it started with a blurb about herself and her cancer. She was diagnosed in October 2010 (like me) with Stage IV, she was in shock, like most of us are when we here that news, but she planned to Kick Cancer's A**. The quick blurb felt like she was attacking cancer with the same attitude that I would like to think that I am. I try to live each day kicking cancer in the a**. It sucks, but it is the hand I was dealt, and I am going to bluff my way through this and try to win the game.
I scrolled through some of her posts and although our situations are/were different (she had mets to organs, not just bones) I felt like I would have really enjoyed getting to know her. Based on her blog, she seemed to be upbeat right to the end. In fact she had created a post as late as June 14th in which she seemed to be positive about how she was doing and what she was doing. Her last post was about a fund raiser for the Breast Cancer Research Center (BCRC) which is a non profit that helps those diagnosed with Breast Cancer. They have patient navigators to help anyone that contacts them to understand the process and even go to doctor appointments with you. I personally have not used their resources because I have a great personal support system through family, friends and church, but I have heard really great things about this organization. (If you are looking for a charity to donate to, I would appreciate you looking into this organization).
This blog and the attitude of this lady that I did not know really struck me today. It made me realize that my goal that I set earlier this week is even more important to me. None of us know how long we have the gift of life. So appreciate each day, appreciate the people in your life and don't sweat the small stuff. Please realize that each of us comes with a set of baggage at every encounter and we may not know what that may be. But please, be encouraging, instead of discouraging; pleasant instead of rude; and leave every encounter with others with the feeling that you won't regret the interaction if it happens to be the last you may have with them.
Thanks for reading
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Dreams....lead to goals
Although goals are important, dreams are just as important, perhaps even more important. In fact, if you don't have a dream, how do you define a goal? I have a lot of dreams. Dreams for my daughters' future. Dreams of being here to see them graduate from college, get married and have those fun loving grandkids. I am doing what I can to help keep that dream alive. As I have researched metastatic cancer (see there I go again with the cancer stuff), I have found that the average life expectancy is 3 years for those who have advanced cancer. I will be hitting my 3 year mark in October. I'm glad to report that there is no indication that I will be average. But then again, my parents have told me that I wasn't average all of my life :)
Instead, I have reached out to find that there are many people that have lived 10 or more years with metastatic breast cancer. But how do I turn this dream into a goal? Great question. I have found that when you begin to research you can find information to support the two sides you know most about, and then you find you that there is actually a prism with many different faceted sides.
I have found that carbs are bad, carbs are good, the paleo diet is great, the paleo diet is bad. You should eat an alkaline diet, you should eat a balanced diet. If you eat flax seed and cottage cheese you can cure yourself. Etc, etc. etc. You get the picture. I don't doubt that many people have cured their cancer with whatever it is they say they have eaten, or not eaten, whatever the case. But just like the "who gets cancer" is the fact that each one of us are different. If you would have asked me if I thought I would get cancer the answer would have been a resounding NO. No one in my family history has ever had breast cancer and they have all lived to be a ripe old age (at least into their 80's , if not their 90's).
So now my dream of seeing both of my girls graduate from college will come down to me discovering the best way for me to beat cancer. My goal is not to try each and every idea that I have found on the internet. My goal is to discover the type of diet that is best for breast cancer, will work in my family's life style, and that will keep the cancer from growing (oh, did I mention that I haven't had any new or growing occurrences in my last 2 scans). Juicing and essential oils are the first 2 trials. So keep reading, I will be sharing my progress along the way.
Instead, I have reached out to find that there are many people that have lived 10 or more years with metastatic breast cancer. But how do I turn this dream into a goal? Great question. I have found that when you begin to research you can find information to support the two sides you know most about, and then you find you that there is actually a prism with many different faceted sides.
I have found that carbs are bad, carbs are good, the paleo diet is great, the paleo diet is bad. You should eat an alkaline diet, you should eat a balanced diet. If you eat flax seed and cottage cheese you can cure yourself. Etc, etc. etc. You get the picture. I don't doubt that many people have cured their cancer with whatever it is they say they have eaten, or not eaten, whatever the case. But just like the "who gets cancer" is the fact that each one of us are different. If you would have asked me if I thought I would get cancer the answer would have been a resounding NO. No one in my family history has ever had breast cancer and they have all lived to be a ripe old age (at least into their 80's , if not their 90's).
So now my dream of seeing both of my girls graduate from college will come down to me discovering the best way for me to beat cancer. My goal is not to try each and every idea that I have found on the internet. My goal is to discover the type of diet that is best for breast cancer, will work in my family's life style, and that will keep the cancer from growing (oh, did I mention that I haven't had any new or growing occurrences in my last 2 scans). Juicing and essential oils are the first 2 trials. So keep reading, I will be sharing my progress along the way.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Defining My 1st Goal
This past week we celebrated my daughter's 18th birthday and my 47th birthday. Yes, there, I said it. But as I told everyone this weekend, better to have a birthday than not. I appreciate them more perhaps than those who aren't living with Cancer. (I don't really want this blog to be about Cancer, but it has shaped much of my outlook these past few years, so it will be referred to occasionally.) I have been doing a lot of soul searching since I was diagnosed to discover what I should be doing with this new phase of my life. Things that seemed important before, don't really have that oomph anymore. I am more interested in finding things to do that are enjoyable with the people that I love.
My oldest daughter leaves for college in a couple of weeks. I have another daughter that will be a sophomore in high school this year. The time has flown by. As my oldest daughter and I sat and talked to a friend recently, we realized that there are many things in our own hometown area that we have not done and explored. I have been thinking about that and have come to the conclusion that we have been in a rut. Between school, homework, the business that my husband and I own, we have not taken the time to enjoy the things around us.
You may have thought I was going to tell you my new goal was to weigh a certain amount by a certain date. Well, that will be a goal in the future, but today's goal is to rediscover living and having fun. I know this is a broad, undefinable goal, so maybe it is a dream. But, hey, that's what this blog is about, looking at goals and dreams and defining them...
I am calling it a goal because I'm going to be very deliberate about it. For my birthday, I got my family out of the house and to downtown to eat lunch at a really fun food truck. Something we normally wouldn't do. We have always been very predictable about where we go eat. Next week I have a date with a friend to try paddle boarding for the first time. It may be interesting considering I have had my hip completely rebuilt and friends are going to have to help me get on the board. But, if people without arms can surf, maybe, just maybe, I can paddle board.
Perhaps to make it seem more like a goal I should define the number of times I will try something new. And I may do that over the next few weeks. However, I also want to find the joy and fun in the small things - like attending all of my youngest daughter's volleyball games this year. I missed much of my oldest daughter's activities her sophomore and junior year dealing with the pain and the cancer. I am choosing not to let the cancer make my choices. This is what I will do to LIVE with Cancer and not just live with cancer.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Day 1 - Again
I recently had lunch with a good friend. He told me that he set a goal for himself for the start of school. He had a few setbacks along the way, but now that those roadblocks are gone, he is going to start back on the road to his goal. This really got me thinking. I have ALWAYS been a GREAT goal setter. The only problem was I didn't have the follow through to reach the goal. I have had a goal to lose 30 pounds for the last 7 years. And in reality I have lost at least 30 lbs during that time frame. The only problem is that it was 2 lbs here and 5 lbs there. Unfortunately, I would gain those 2 lbs or 5 lbs back before I lost any more.
I have been a breast cancer survivor for 10 years this coming October. I'm not sure that I is the term any longer. Actually, now I am in my 3rd year of living with Stage IV or metastatic cancer. I want to be known more for living rather than surviving. The connotations are very different, at least in my mind. Survival, to me, is getting through whatever obstacle is in front of you. Living is not letting the obstacle get in your way. I did survive, first chemo and then radiation 10 years ago. I lived a really good 7 years not even giving thought to the cancer that had disrupted my life for 10 months. I had fought through and survived. Don't look back. WRONG. Seven years later, the cancer fought back and now I have bone metastasis in several locations. The good news, it isn't anywhere else. So now I LIVE with cancer. I take an oral chemo therapy and have had several surgeries and a couple of rounds of radiation to help slow the growth and stop the pain that I was in.
Now, three years into this new life, I am fighting my inner self with the goal setting issues I have had over the years. Fear and will power have been my two greatest obstacles to battle in my fight for my goals. Accountability has also been lacking in my past attempts.
I am hoping that this blog will become my accountability for my new goal. What is the new goal you ask? Tune in tomorrow to find out.......
I have been a breast cancer survivor for 10 years this coming October. I'm not sure that I is the term any longer. Actually, now I am in my 3rd year of living with Stage IV or metastatic cancer. I want to be known more for living rather than surviving. The connotations are very different, at least in my mind. Survival, to me, is getting through whatever obstacle is in front of you. Living is not letting the obstacle get in your way. I did survive, first chemo and then radiation 10 years ago. I lived a really good 7 years not even giving thought to the cancer that had disrupted my life for 10 months. I had fought through and survived. Don't look back. WRONG. Seven years later, the cancer fought back and now I have bone metastasis in several locations. The good news, it isn't anywhere else. So now I LIVE with cancer. I take an oral chemo therapy and have had several surgeries and a couple of rounds of radiation to help slow the growth and stop the pain that I was in.
Now, three years into this new life, I am fighting my inner self with the goal setting issues I have had over the years. Fear and will power have been my two greatest obstacles to battle in my fight for my goals. Accountability has also been lacking in my past attempts.
I am hoping that this blog will become my accountability for my new goal. What is the new goal you ask? Tune in tomorrow to find out.......
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