The Gift of Encouragement

In Romans 12:6 Paul says "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us."   In my bible study class last week we were asked to look at each of the gifts listed and determine what our gift is.

There are not many times when I feel like I hear God speaking directly to me, but as I looked at each of the gifts one jumped out at me: Encourage.  Romans 12:8 "if it is to encourage, then give encouragement."

In a previous post 'I've been lying to myself' I discussed how Cancer had given me hope.  Now I'm realizing that I was also given the gift of encouragement.
Over the last four years I have been approached by many people who were recently diagnosed with cancer.  They all knew that I had cancer and I think they were just wanting someone to listen and give support (some did ask for specific advice, but not all of them).  I had not really thought much about that until last week when the word was put in front of me so directly.

If you have read any of my posts you know that I believe in God.  My gift is to encourage others to live by Faith.  My life is far from perfect, if it were I would not have Stage IV cancer, but my faith allows be to find the joy in the everyday.

The old saying "the grass is greener on the other side" doesn't apply.  With faith the grass on your side is as green as you want it to be.  I choose every day to get up and see my grass green as the Emerald city (although sometimes I think the Emerald city does need to be mowed).  I choose to live by Faith to be an example to others and encourage them to do the same.

I'm not really sure where this gift is going to take me, but I am going to buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Customer Focused

We have been eating out and going out a little bit more than usual this month.  Mostly because my daughters had different Spring Breaks this year and with one in college and the other one looking at colleges we were on the road or just running around town a lot.

I have become acutely aware of places that are Customer Focused and those that are not.  I use the term focused because it goes beyond service to actually see the customer, recognize that there are some simple things that can be done to help the customer while transacting business.  And by doing that, encourage the customer to come back to that store/restaurant again.  From my perspective as someone who sometimes needs a little help (but then don't we all really) customer service is providing the customer the service that they expect in a respectful manner; customer Focused is going beyond expectation and seeing the customer as another human being who may need something beyond what might be just expected.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.  This week I accompanied my mother in law to a Verizon store.  We have been customers with Verizon for many years.  Mostly because one person took the time to understand my problem and helped me solve it.  At that time I was ready to leave Verizon and find another cell phone provider, but because he took the time to listen and help solve the problem I have been a loyal Verizon customer.  So much so that I have followed him as he has been transferred all around the Austin area.  Now he is the manager of a fairly large location in North Central Austin and I drive 45 minutes to go to his store.  When we went to his store this week, Jason was not there.  We were greeted by Peter and he made us feel welcome and answered all of our questions in a very professional and customer service oriented way.  As is usually the case when you are getting a new phone, the paper work takes a while and I was getting tired of standing.  I sat on a stool that was in the store.  Peter noticed and asked if I would like him to move it closer to the computer where he was working so I didn't have to get up every time he needed a signature. During our conversation about phones, my mother in law mentioned that she lives/works on a farm.  When Peter went to the back to get the new phone, he brought out several phone cases.  Expected? Yes.  Every good phone sales person will try to sell you all of the accessories.  Unexpected? He brought several for her to choose from, one of which was a Hunter orange otter box case.  He thought she might like that because we talked about how someone she knew dropped hers in  field and couldn't find it later.  When we had finally gotten the phone activated and were leaving the store Peter carried our bag (we also got a free tablet) to our car. Customer focused!  I got home from the trip to the Verizon store and sent a text to Jason telling him how great Peter was.  How many times do you share a good story with a manager?  

Yesterday I took a friend out to lunch.  We went to Chick Fil-A.  If you have ever been to a Chick Fil A at lunch you know they get very busy.  Instead of giving you a number they ask for your name so that they can call you when your order is ready (or bring it to your table depending on the location).  I was paying for our order and handed the cashier my debit card.  She took the time to look at it before she processed it and said "your order will be out shortly Kim".  That doesn't sound like much but that personal touch can be just what someone needs to brighten up their day.  I told her how awesome it was that she didn't even have to ask my name for the order.  So many people would not have thought to even look at the card they just make the transaction and proceed to the next customer. Customer Focused.  I was not just another transaction, I was a person with a name.  How refreshing.

Granted I have stories of the other extreme.  The take a number, next, robotic response.  But I choose to look for the places and return to the places where people are happy to look you in the eye, engage with you and recognize that there is something that they can do to make the simplest of transactions just a little more pleasant.  

I've been lying to myself...

I have been lying to myself.  For the past four years I have tried to tell myself and others that I will not let cancer define me.  Although I have cancer you might be surprised to learn that fact if we met on the street.  I don't look sick.  The only indication that I'm not a marathon runner (ha ha) is that I walk with a cane and have a limp. I don't even like to answer the question that inevitably comes "what happened?" I don't want people to think "oh, I'm so sorry" or give me the pity look or the general uncomfortableness that people feel when they don't know how to respond.  I don't want that to be how people see me.

But that changed today. Today I had an aha moment.  Cancer has defined me.  I have grown in many ways since I was first diagnosed with cancer.  And in even more ways since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.  How can that NOT define me?  

I have some great people in my life because of cancer. Some of the people that I have met in the last 4 years may not have crossed my path if I did not have cancer.  I have started making decisions in a different way because of cancer.  I enjoy life more because of cancer.  I enjoy friends more because of cancer. I have come closer to God because I have cancer.  

I believe that I have shown my children and hopefully some of my friends that having cancer is not a death sentence (at least not in the present tense).  It is a life sentence.  Cancer teaches you how to appreciate life and those in your life. Is every day rosy? No.  But is every day rosy when you don't have cancer? NO.

Cancer has taught me to have hope (hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen). I hope

1. to see my kids graduate from high school (one has); graduate from college; get married and have kids of their own. 
2. to have lots of friends to be able to enjoy coffee, lunch, dinner or some other fun (movies and Top Golf are definitely fun). 
3. to be an inspiration for someone else, either another person diagnosed with cancer or even better someone who just needs to see that you can find joy no matter what your circumstances.

So, I am proud that cancer has, in fact, defined me.  I hope that it has defined me in a way that when someone gives me "that look" it is a look of wonderment and not sympathy.  And if we meet on the street I will tell you proudly I have Cancer and I am better for it.