Memories are the Important Things

My niece is getting married this summer and several of my friends have kids graduating from High School. As I watch all of the preparations go into the wedding or the graduation parties it makes me reflect on past events in my life.  Looking back I'm amused at all of the small details that goes into these "Big Events" that seemed so important at the time.

So many small details go into wedding planning.  What will we serve at the reception? Which flowers will look best with the bridesmaid dress and in the church? What flavor cake should we server?  How many attendants will we have? Who should they be? 

I was listening to Dave Ramsey today and he said that none of the people that were attendants in his wedding are close friends 30 years later (except his sister in law).  My husband and I are a little bit more lucky than that.  One of the groomsman is still a good friend and most of my attendants were relatives so we still have relationships with them.  The only one that I don't see regularly lives in Washington D.C (and I live in Texas), however, we do still exchange Christmas cards and occasionally exchange emails.

If i look at the pictures of the wedding, I'm not sure of the names of some of the people that were there.  Sure they were important in my life, or so I thought. But things and people change and I haven't seem many of them in a very long time.

I can't tell you how many hours I took to decide on the food for the reception, or the DJ.  Guess what, that's right, all of you that have been the bride/groom know that I did not get to eat any of the food.  Was it good?  I hope the guests enjoyed it.  And really, I can't remember if we had a band or a DJ or even what kind of music that they played.  Wasn't this supposed to be fun?  I'm sure it was for the guests, but I really don't remember any of it.

My daughter graduated from High School last year.  We did not have a big party.  We had the people that are closest to us at the house to celebrate.  I wanted her to be able to enjoy it and I wanted to enjoy it, too.  It didn't matter to me that I had most of the food catered so that I didn't spend the day cooking and I could visit with all of our friends.

Don't get me wrong, I do have good memories of my wedding and reception.  But you know what, most of them revolve around my husband.  Not the food, the music, the friends, or the location.I'm sure that this perspective will be lost on the young.  I don't remember if anyone tried to tell me this when I was younger or not, but I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have heeded the advice.

What have I learned over the years? I live for the memories.  I'm old enough now to understand what memories will be most important.  It isn't the stuff on the fringe.  It is seeing the smile on your husband's face when he sees you walk down the aisle.  It is the expression of pure joy on your child's face when they throw their graduation cap in the air.  The important memories relate to the closest family and friends and sharing in their joy.  

So the next time you have a big event in your life that you might normally stress over the details. just think about what memories you will be making and which ones you will carry with you into the future.